Months after this discipline, I am still feeling the effects. I have experienced such an amazing abundance of love and conscious relationship since I completed it. I live on a small island and prefer to keep the details of my love life private, but I can share that I am experiencing more abundant fulfillment than I would have ever thought possible. I'm also healing old patterns, powerfully shifting relationship dynamics, and exploring an entirely new realm of conscious exchange.
If you're considering taking initiative to become empowered to transform your relationships, I highly encourage undertaking a mantra discipline! It really has set up beautiful resonances for me that I'm still experiencing a wonderful ripple effect from...
Good luck!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Friday, July 3, 2009
Reflections & Measuring Success
The Day After
It seems like a lifetime ago that I started this discipline. I can't believe it's only been 40 days. My energy has so completely shifted... I feel like I'm in a different relationship with the fundamental vibrations of creation. When I withdraw my mind from "normal" activity and drop in to awareness, the pulse of dynamic presence is palpable, energizing, and profoundly peaceful.
On the practical level re: my intention to prepare for a conscious relationship, without divulging anything too personal, I'll just say, "It works!" Not only have I attracted promising potential partners at a whole new level, I have also experienced a deep healing with the archetype of my father (who has passed on), and experienced a deep level of resolution with a previous partner.
Thank you to anyone reading this, for opening your heart & mind to what I've shared.
I love doing these disciplines, will share more with the next one I engage, and will certainly be glad to help anyone develop their own.
It seems like a lifetime ago that I started this discipline. I can't believe it's only been 40 days. My energy has so completely shifted... I feel like I'm in a different relationship with the fundamental vibrations of creation. When I withdraw my mind from "normal" activity and drop in to awareness, the pulse of dynamic presence is palpable, energizing, and profoundly peaceful.
On the practical level re: my intention to prepare for a conscious relationship, without divulging anything too personal, I'll just say, "It works!" Not only have I attracted promising potential partners at a whole new level, I have also experienced a deep healing with the archetype of my father (who has passed on), and experienced a deep level of resolution with a previous partner.
Thank you to anyone reading this, for opening your heart & mind to what I've shared.
I love doing these disciplines, will share more with the next one I engage, and will certainly be glad to help anyone develop their own.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
The Home Stretch...
Day 36
Spiritual discipline is such a personal thing, and we reap the direct results of what we sow. Every time I do a discipline, I accumulate so much energy that all of my projects go into high gear. There's so much creative juice flowing, it needs to be expressed! It's really quite a wonderful experience.
As it relates to the original purpose of this conscious relationship discipline, I feel that the deep, powerful undercurrents within the river of my being have shifted significantly. The channel that cut into the murky depths has been flushed, re-routed.
And to be honest, I have slacked off somewhat since the first half of the discipline. I wonder what would have happened had I maintained my original intensity? I'll find out soon enough, since I plan to continue this practice.
Spiritual discipline is such a personal thing, and we reap the direct results of what we sow. Every time I do a discipline, I accumulate so much energy that all of my projects go into high gear. There's so much creative juice flowing, it needs to be expressed! It's really quite a wonderful experience.
As it relates to the original purpose of this conscious relationship discipline, I feel that the deep, powerful undercurrents within the river of my being have shifted significantly. The channel that cut into the murky depths has been flushed, re-routed.
And to be honest, I have slacked off somewhat since the first half of the discipline. I wonder what would have happened had I maintained my original intensity? I'll find out soon enough, since I plan to continue this practice.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Glimpses of Mastery with Hormonal Fluctuations - Men Everywhere Should Rejoice!
Day 27
I would bet that if one chronicled all of the arguments between men & women throughout history, a large percentage of them would occur when the woman has PMS. Our bodies are chemical factories, and a few days out of the month, it's like someone tampered with the mix, sending us on a bad trip that lasts for days.
Yesterday, I had a very new experience with my own bad trip. I'm attributing it to all of the mantras & intention around balancing my inner masculine & feminine (at the chemical level, testosterone & estrogen/progestrone). I was feeling quite agitated (not at anyone in particular, luckily!). Throughout the day, I was able to maintain a clear witness state and use the agitation to my advantage to be extremely productive!
Since I viewed the agitation as pure energy, not something I needed to fix or indulge in, I was able to appreciate the quality of the energy as "that which acts" (i.e. "raja" in Sanskrit, vs. "tamas" - that which obscures, or "sattwa" - that which manifests) The SHRIM mantra is helping me understand the nature of energy in the universe; the whole universe is composed of various combinations of rajas, tamas, & sattwa. And the "I" that I truly am is beyond all that...
If I can successfully maintain this budding mastery, and teach other women to do the same, I foresee much more in the way of marital harmony in our culture of quick hook-ups, short-term relationships, and over 50% divorce rate! ;)
The key is to establish oneself in the eternal presence of the soul.
I would bet that if one chronicled all of the arguments between men & women throughout history, a large percentage of them would occur when the woman has PMS. Our bodies are chemical factories, and a few days out of the month, it's like someone tampered with the mix, sending us on a bad trip that lasts for days.
Yesterday, I had a very new experience with my own bad trip. I'm attributing it to all of the mantras & intention around balancing my inner masculine & feminine (at the chemical level, testosterone & estrogen/progestrone). I was feeling quite agitated (not at anyone in particular, luckily!). Throughout the day, I was able to maintain a clear witness state and use the agitation to my advantage to be extremely productive!
Since I viewed the agitation as pure energy, not something I needed to fix or indulge in, I was able to appreciate the quality of the energy as "that which acts" (i.e. "raja" in Sanskrit, vs. "tamas" - that which obscures, or "sattwa" - that which manifests) The SHRIM mantra is helping me understand the nature of energy in the universe; the whole universe is composed of various combinations of rajas, tamas, & sattwa. And the "I" that I truly am is beyond all that...
If I can successfully maintain this budding mastery, and teach other women to do the same, I foresee much more in the way of marital harmony in our culture of quick hook-ups, short-term relationships, and over 50% divorce rate! ;)
The key is to establish oneself in the eternal presence of the soul.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Momentum & The Tipping Point
Day 23
It's interesting that just over half way through this discipline, there's a part of me that feels I've already gotten what I needed, and there's no reason to continue. The intensity of my desire for a deeper experience of conscious relationship has been satisfied by my inner experience, and I'm sated, at least temporarily.
However, just under the surface of that thought, there's a knowing that I'm polishing away at some deeply held patterns, and that gives me the motivation to continue on. It's unfamiliar, unknown, and a little scary to approach this place. It's like venturing deep into a cave, brushing off cobwebs, and not knowing where I'm going to step next. I know I need to press on into new territory if I want anything to actually change in my life.
I am aware of my need for tenderness & self-care, and am comforted by the brilliant torch-light of the mantras. (Or perhaps a head-lamp would be more appropriate! The light of the mantras coming through my third eye... :)
It's also interesting to note that over the past week, I lessened the intensity of my practice due to time constraints, and I've noticed it's harder to maintain the momentum. I was squeezing in the mantra practice in bits & pieces, and counting yoga asana practice that wasn't specifically dedicated to this discipline, and it felt like the energy dissipated considerably.
On the other hand, when I was doing the practice full-on, during the first 12 days, the energy I was generating seemed to propel me forward of its own volition. There must be some magical tipping point where the momentum becomes exponential. I'm sure it's different for everyone, and it probably changes from day to day. I am committed to getting back to it!
It's interesting that just over half way through this discipline, there's a part of me that feels I've already gotten what I needed, and there's no reason to continue. The intensity of my desire for a deeper experience of conscious relationship has been satisfied by my inner experience, and I'm sated, at least temporarily.
However, just under the surface of that thought, there's a knowing that I'm polishing away at some deeply held patterns, and that gives me the motivation to continue on. It's unfamiliar, unknown, and a little scary to approach this place. It's like venturing deep into a cave, brushing off cobwebs, and not knowing where I'm going to step next. I know I need to press on into new territory if I want anything to actually change in my life.
I am aware of my need for tenderness & self-care, and am comforted by the brilliant torch-light of the mantras. (Or perhaps a head-lamp would be more appropriate! The light of the mantras coming through my third eye... :)
It's also interesting to note that over the past week, I lessened the intensity of my practice due to time constraints, and I've noticed it's harder to maintain the momentum. I was squeezing in the mantra practice in bits & pieces, and counting yoga asana practice that wasn't specifically dedicated to this discipline, and it felt like the energy dissipated considerably.
On the other hand, when I was doing the practice full-on, during the first 12 days, the energy I was generating seemed to propel me forward of its own volition. There must be some magical tipping point where the momentum becomes exponential. I'm sure it's different for everyone, and it probably changes from day to day. I am committed to getting back to it!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Hundreds of Juicy Tidbits
Day 19
This is my horoscope this week from http://FreeWillAstrology.com, and I just thought it was fabulous: "This would be a good time to activate your sleeping potentials by chanting positive declarations about your relationship to what you need. Instead of typical New Age affirmations, however, I think you'll benefit from something edgier and more poetic.
That's why I'm offering you the statements below. They were originally written by Andrea Carlisle for use by spiders. Say the following several times a day: "I am now receiving many fine fat flies in my web. My web is strong and masterful. My web is irresistible to all the attractive creatures I like to nibble on. I am amazingly clever and extremely popular. Even now, hundreds of juicy tidbits are headed towards my web."
I am definitely experiencing some juicy tidbits in life! I've been reflecting on how amazingly happy I am, so full of gratitude. I can feel this practice working through me, opening my heart, accelerating the possibilities for my life's expression in ways I thought were in my distant future, not in my present.
My primary focus has been on other things for the past few days, but I'm really appreciating the consistency of focus. It feels like self-care. And I definitely sense how the commitment to the practice is shifting things at a tectonic level.
If I were a spider, I'd be fat & happy from hundreds of juicy tidbits. And there are more headed my way? Awesome! :)
This is my horoscope this week from http://FreeWillAstrology.com, and I just thought it was fabulous: "This would be a good time to activate your sleeping potentials by chanting positive declarations about your relationship to what you need. Instead of typical New Age affirmations, however, I think you'll benefit from something edgier and more poetic.
That's why I'm offering you the statements below. They were originally written by Andrea Carlisle for use by spiders. Say the following several times a day: "I am now receiving many fine fat flies in my web. My web is strong and masterful. My web is irresistible to all the attractive creatures I like to nibble on. I am amazingly clever and extremely popular. Even now, hundreds of juicy tidbits are headed towards my web."
I am definitely experiencing some juicy tidbits in life! I've been reflecting on how amazingly happy I am, so full of gratitude. I can feel this practice working through me, opening my heart, accelerating the possibilities for my life's expression in ways I thought were in my distant future, not in my present.
My primary focus has been on other things for the past few days, but I'm really appreciating the consistency of focus. It feels like self-care. And I definitely sense how the commitment to the practice is shifting things at a tectonic level.
If I were a spider, I'd be fat & happy from hundreds of juicy tidbits. And there are more headed my way? Awesome! :)
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Grinding Away at the Karmic Wheel
Day 17
It's been a few days since I've written, but I'm glad to say I've been keeping up the practice despite being very busy. I figure if it's a choice between doing the practices, and writing about not having time to do them, I'll do them!
Even though I've had to modify them slightly for available time (doing fewer than 108 repetitions of each mantra, or doing just a sun salutation and an inversion, backbend, and hip opener instead of a full on asana practice), I'm keeping the fires stoked. It feels good to keep the commitment.
It's interesting to notice the temptation to slide out of the practice, to come up with an excuse as to why I don't want to continue, or feel like I need to continue any further... but I've been doing spiritual disciplines long enough to understand that it grinds away at my karmic wheel, polishing rough spots where my previous groove is to avoid them. Though sometimes it's good to go with the flow and do just what feels good, in this case I know deep down that there's "stuff" being dislodged from deep within me, for illumination, healing, and transformation. I really want to get to the next level, and so I'm determined to see the practice through for the full 40 days!
Which, in the scheme of things, is NOTHING! I have a friend who is a head monk at Tyangboche Monastery in Nepal, and he has done several 3 year silent retreats. Jaws drop. Heads shake in disbelief. Most of us can only imagine the discipline & focus, not to mention the resulting states of consciousness that would come from such a practice. 40 days - can handle! It feels like a good balance for this modern yogini. :)
It's been a few days since I've written, but I'm glad to say I've been keeping up the practice despite being very busy. I figure if it's a choice between doing the practices, and writing about not having time to do them, I'll do them!
Even though I've had to modify them slightly for available time (doing fewer than 108 repetitions of each mantra, or doing just a sun salutation and an inversion, backbend, and hip opener instead of a full on asana practice), I'm keeping the fires stoked. It feels good to keep the commitment.
It's interesting to notice the temptation to slide out of the practice, to come up with an excuse as to why I don't want to continue, or feel like I need to continue any further... but I've been doing spiritual disciplines long enough to understand that it grinds away at my karmic wheel, polishing rough spots where my previous groove is to avoid them. Though sometimes it's good to go with the flow and do just what feels good, in this case I know deep down that there's "stuff" being dislodged from deep within me, for illumination, healing, and transformation. I really want to get to the next level, and so I'm determined to see the practice through for the full 40 days!
Which, in the scheme of things, is NOTHING! I have a friend who is a head monk at Tyangboche Monastery in Nepal, and he has done several 3 year silent retreats. Jaws drop. Heads shake in disbelief. Most of us can only imagine the discipline & focus, not to mention the resulting states of consciousness that would come from such a practice. 40 days - can handle! It feels like a good balance for this modern yogini. :)
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Anticipating "The Fall" - Transformation, Grace, & The Witness State
Day 12
I was thinking yesterday that if I were my own client, I'd be wondering when and how "the fall" would take place, after such an extended high... This made me ponder the nature of graceful transformation, and the wisdom of the dualistic cycles of pleasure/pain that are inherent to the human experience.
I definitely do experience some gritty, difficult stuff from time to time, as everyone does. However, I view it in the context of how it helps me grow and learn. My painful experiences always point mercifully, with laser focus, to exactly where I am not integrated. Since growth, transformation, and evolution is the purpose of my life (rather than material fulfillment), what else can I ultimately do but celebrate the appearance of pain with as much gratitude as I do the appearance bliss?
Nature does not mourn or waste anything. What is death to one creature is life to another. Yet the experiencer of the experience remains unaffected. The cycles of time march on, and the witness remains.
It is my experience of mantra practice that intoning the Sanskrit formulae activates the mainline to the pre-manifestation witness state. It seems to help anchor more and more of my identity there, rather than in the manifest world with all of its dualities. The entire process of transformation feels far less traumatic, and far more graceful.
I was thinking yesterday that if I were my own client, I'd be wondering when and how "the fall" would take place, after such an extended high... This made me ponder the nature of graceful transformation, and the wisdom of the dualistic cycles of pleasure/pain that are inherent to the human experience.
I definitely do experience some gritty, difficult stuff from time to time, as everyone does. However, I view it in the context of how it helps me grow and learn. My painful experiences always point mercifully, with laser focus, to exactly where I am not integrated. Since growth, transformation, and evolution is the purpose of my life (rather than material fulfillment), what else can I ultimately do but celebrate the appearance of pain with as much gratitude as I do the appearance bliss?
Nature does not mourn or waste anything. What is death to one creature is life to another. Yet the experiencer of the experience remains unaffected. The cycles of time march on, and the witness remains.
It is my experience of mantra practice that intoning the Sanskrit formulae activates the mainline to the pre-manifestation witness state. It seems to help anchor more and more of my identity there, rather than in the manifest world with all of its dualities. The entire process of transformation feels far less traumatic, and far more graceful.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Nuclear Reactors & True Tantra
Day 11
It wouldn't be an understatement to say that today I felt internal transformation working within me like a contained, steady nuclear reactor. Is it the mantras? The yoga asana? (I did go to a 2-hour class today at Yoga Hanalei, which was great!) The mulabandha (root lock) awareness? Just the intention? The commitment to a 40-day mantra & yoga program? I have a feeling it's the combination of all of the above. I've never felt so calm, composed, and contained... I think it's allowing my internal energy to ignite new levels of awakening within me.
I'm also experiencing a much deeper connection with nature. It's pretty trippy, actually. It'd sound like a description of someone's acid trip if I talked too much about it! It's quite profound to be awake to the void/space within all things, the qualities that compose their substance, and the current that animates them. I sense that it's just a taste of true tantra (mastery of the elements).
If I have anything else to say, it's that this yogic science WORKS! One simply needs to apply it consistently and watch the results.
It wouldn't be an understatement to say that today I felt internal transformation working within me like a contained, steady nuclear reactor. Is it the mantras? The yoga asana? (I did go to a 2-hour class today at Yoga Hanalei, which was great!) The mulabandha (root lock) awareness? Just the intention? The commitment to a 40-day mantra & yoga program? I have a feeling it's the combination of all of the above. I've never felt so calm, composed, and contained... I think it's allowing my internal energy to ignite new levels of awakening within me.
I'm also experiencing a much deeper connection with nature. It's pretty trippy, actually. It'd sound like a description of someone's acid trip if I talked too much about it! It's quite profound to be awake to the void/space within all things, the qualities that compose their substance, and the current that animates them. I sense that it's just a taste of true tantra (mastery of the elements).
If I have anything else to say, it's that this yogic science WORKS! One simply needs to apply it consistently and watch the results.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Why am I blogging about this?
Day 10
The distinction between sharing for others' benefit and narcissism has crossed my mind for contemplation more than once, so I'll write about it briefly.
Pure and simple, I am doing this because I was guided to. It was a clear impulse of inspiration. My sense of this blog's purpose is that it will inspire others to:
a) empower themselves to receive what they really want, in a more specific way than the general guidance offered in such works as The Secret, or the Law of Attraction. Engaging the power of Sanskrit mantras for transformative manifestation is extraordinarily powerful! And using asana specifically and consciously to support integration of the higher energies (invoked via mantra) is an essential symbiosis!
b) clarify what they really want, from a higher perspective than simply material gain.
While it's contrary to my general nature to share such personal experience, it seems that there's value in offering my experience as a "guinea pig" for transformation. I hope that all of the ups & downs, insights, and inspirations will be helpful to anyone else undertaking a spiritual discipline.
The distinction between sharing for others' benefit and narcissism has crossed my mind for contemplation more than once, so I'll write about it briefly.
Pure and simple, I am doing this because I was guided to. It was a clear impulse of inspiration. My sense of this blog's purpose is that it will inspire others to:
a) empower themselves to receive what they really want, in a more specific way than the general guidance offered in such works as The Secret, or the Law of Attraction. Engaging the power of Sanskrit mantras for transformative manifestation is extraordinarily powerful! And using asana specifically and consciously to support integration of the higher energies (invoked via mantra) is an essential symbiosis!
b) clarify what they really want, from a higher perspective than simply material gain.
While it's contrary to my general nature to share such personal experience, it seems that there's value in offering my experience as a "guinea pig" for transformation. I hope that all of the ups & downs, insights, and inspirations will be helpful to anyone else undertaking a spiritual discipline.
Relationship Resonance
Day 9
Some very important information was shared with me today, regarding how to set up the proper resonances in a relationship. It's too early to share it, but I'm working with it internally. Every day has been such a joy, and the sadhana (spiritual practice) is getting exponentially deeper. I'm excited to see what the remaining 31 days will bring!
Some very important information was shared with me today, regarding how to set up the proper resonances in a relationship. It's too early to share it, but I'm working with it internally. Every day has been such a joy, and the sadhana (spiritual practice) is getting exponentially deeper. I'm excited to see what the remaining 31 days will bring!
Monday, June 1, 2009
Bliss
Day 8
Bliss and shakti are oozing from every pore for the past few hours to the point that my lips are numb. This hasn't happened for a while, and is very nice!
My morning sadhana is getting deeper every day, and providing such great energy for everything else in my day. I worked with a client this afternoon on her personal mantra & yoga program, and feel tremendously blessed to be sharing these technologies with others!
Bliss and shakti are oozing from every pore for the past few hours to the point that my lips are numb. This hasn't happened for a while, and is very nice!
My morning sadhana is getting deeper every day, and providing such great energy for everything else in my day. I worked with a client this afternoon on her personal mantra & yoga program, and feel tremendously blessed to be sharing these technologies with others!
Saturday, May 30, 2009
From the Drudgery of Discipline to Desiring Refinement
Day 7
There is so much energy being accumulated in my being, it makes the practice joyful. Like many people, discipline for me is sometimes drudgery. However, in this case, the benefits of the practice are so far above & beyond my expectations, I found myself excited this morning to see what's next!
The momentum of the mantras are resonating in my being, creating what feels like a magnetic pull towards refinement... It is said that we are made in the image of Gods; attuning to these higher vibrations through the mantras literally vibrates that level of experience into this realm. Lest I lose you, dear reader, in this esoteric mysticism, an explanation of the unexplainable, I'll invite us both to retreat to silence... To explore for ourselves the meaning that is relevant to us. :)
There is so much energy being accumulated in my being, it makes the practice joyful. Like many people, discipline for me is sometimes drudgery. However, in this case, the benefits of the practice are so far above & beyond my expectations, I found myself excited this morning to see what's next!
The momentum of the mantras are resonating in my being, creating what feels like a magnetic pull towards refinement... It is said that we are made in the image of Gods; attuning to these higher vibrations through the mantras literally vibrates that level of experience into this realm. Lest I lose you, dear reader, in this esoteric mysticism, an explanation of the unexplainable, I'll invite us both to retreat to silence... To explore for ourselves the meaning that is relevant to us. :)
Friday, May 29, 2009
Deeper relationship with the Deities themselves
Day 6
Truthfully, when I started this practice I didn't realize how humbled I would become.
The depth of relationship that's possible is being revealed to me...
-Within my small self, in relation to the consciousness of my own prana in my body
-Within my great Self, in relation to my identity with the vastness of the planetary, solar, universal, and cosmic forces also known as Deities.
The thought that I started with, that I was preparing myself for a "divine relationship," has been completely transformed in a more beautiful way than I could ever imagine. You know when you suddenly really SEE an old friend, or someone you interact with every day, in a totally new light? That's how I'm feeling about certain Gods and Goddesses that are invoked in this practice. It's not they who have changed, it's me.
I am moved almost to tears as I realize just how much Grace pours out when we take one step forward on the path. The mantra are clearing pranic channels to levels of connection that come rushing in at a rate that far exceeds my effort.
Truthfully, when I started this practice I didn't realize how humbled I would become.
The depth of relationship that's possible is being revealed to me...
-Within my small self, in relation to the consciousness of my own prana in my body
-Within my great Self, in relation to my identity with the vastness of the planetary, solar, universal, and cosmic forces also known as Deities.
The thought that I started with, that I was preparing myself for a "divine relationship," has been completely transformed in a more beautiful way than I could ever imagine. You know when you suddenly really SEE an old friend, or someone you interact with every day, in a totally new light? That's how I'm feeling about certain Gods and Goddesses that are invoked in this practice. It's not they who have changed, it's me.
I am moved almost to tears as I realize just how much Grace pours out when we take one step forward on the path. The mantra are clearing pranic channels to levels of connection that come rushing in at a rate that far exceeds my effort.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Modern Yogini
Day 5
First and foremost, I am a yogini, or by some definitions, an aspiring yogini... dedicated to the union within. From that union, all emerges. The reflection of grace and feminine wisdom came today in the form of Shambhavi Yogini, a lovely woman I look forward to sharing more company with during the retreat I'm participating in this weekend. She has much to offer, and I, much to learn.
I've been reflecting on my authentic expression as a healer/teacher/writer. It's not authentic for me to dress in a sari, because I am not by birth an Indian in this life. The expression of the yogic life is a bit different for me as a young American woman, but nonetheless I seek its depths and love to share from my direct experience, to inspire, extend grace, and awaken wisdom. However, my style includes perhaps just a hint of goofiness! ;)
I must admit I relish my dharma in this life of straddling the worlds - to immerse myself in the seed sound of OM in the morning, and let my hair down and shake my booty to Ludacris in the evening, and retain a pure sense of Self through it all!
First and foremost, I am a yogini, or by some definitions, an aspiring yogini... dedicated to the union within. From that union, all emerges. The reflection of grace and feminine wisdom came today in the form of Shambhavi Yogini, a lovely woman I look forward to sharing more company with during the retreat I'm participating in this weekend. She has much to offer, and I, much to learn.
I've been reflecting on my authentic expression as a healer/teacher/writer. It's not authentic for me to dress in a sari, because I am not by birth an Indian in this life. The expression of the yogic life is a bit different for me as a young American woman, but nonetheless I seek its depths and love to share from my direct experience, to inspire, extend grace, and awaken wisdom. However, my style includes perhaps just a hint of goofiness! ;)
I must admit I relish my dharma in this life of straddling the worlds - to immerse myself in the seed sound of OM in the morning, and let my hair down and shake my booty to Ludacris in the evening, and retain a pure sense of Self through it all!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Cockroach Omens & Yoga Asana
Day 4
It was incredibly appropriate that I noticed a cockroach laying belly up on the floor 8 feet in front of me just after I started my sun salutations this morning. (Just in case you're thinking I'm a slob, everyone has cockroaches in Hawaii. It's just a fact of life.)
Normally, I'd get a tissue, pick it up, and throw it in the garbage, but today I decided to look at it as an omen. The yoga asana practice is such a perfect reflection of where the rubber meets the road between the soul and the ego personality. As they say, "The issues are in the tissues!" I had a bit of resistance to doing the asana this morning, so the cockroach was a perfect reminder of corpse pose, the final surrender, the death of the illusion of the individual ego.
This process of soul evolution is holistic - yoga asana without the meditation, mantras & pranayama can get to focused on the physical, and the esoteric practices without the physical asana can be ungrounded. To do it all synergistically keeps the evolution progressing on a steady, safe, integrated trajectory. It's gradual, but assured, since all of the potential energy leakages are sealed. (Imagine Indian accent here...) Thank you, my little cockroach friend, for your great teaching! :) LOL.
Read more on developing your own personal yoga & mantra programs
It was incredibly appropriate that I noticed a cockroach laying belly up on the floor 8 feet in front of me just after I started my sun salutations this morning. (Just in case you're thinking I'm a slob, everyone has cockroaches in Hawaii. It's just a fact of life.)
Normally, I'd get a tissue, pick it up, and throw it in the garbage, but today I decided to look at it as an omen. The yoga asana practice is such a perfect reflection of where the rubber meets the road between the soul and the ego personality. As they say, "The issues are in the tissues!" I had a bit of resistance to doing the asana this morning, so the cockroach was a perfect reminder of corpse pose, the final surrender, the death of the illusion of the individual ego.
This process of soul evolution is holistic - yoga asana without the meditation, mantras & pranayama can get to focused on the physical, and the esoteric practices without the physical asana can be ungrounded. To do it all synergistically keeps the evolution progressing on a steady, safe, integrated trajectory. It's gradual, but assured, since all of the potential energy leakages are sealed. (Imagine Indian accent here...) Thank you, my little cockroach friend, for your great teaching! :) LOL.
Read more on developing your own personal yoga & mantra programs
Using mantras for material gain vs. liberation
Day 3
This practice has brought so many insights, I'll have to choose just one to write about today.
As I do this practice, I've been really questioning my motivation. It's definitely a concern, since for one of the mantras I'm doing, one translation lists its effect as "The inner light shining through you will make you so beautiful that people will be bewitched by you and will do anything you say..." LOL! :) That's not what I'm after! Needless to say, there are more subtle, esoteric meanings that I'm focusing on... (Read more on How Mantras Work) but since these mantras ARE quite powerful and I wish to use them wisely, I am definitely careful to ask myself:
How much of me wants the outcome, and is invested in the "material gain" vs. how much of me is absolutely in pure alignment with Divine Will, and completely surrendered? There are elements of both desires present - which in Evolutionary astrology would be called "separating desires" and "returning desires."
My experience with this apparent conundrum is quite remarkable. Since I've been dedicated to the spiritual path for many years, the momentum of my being is clearly in the "returning desires" category. As I do these mantras, I can literally see and feel my "separating desires" being lifted into the greater magnetism of my soul and its orientation toward full realization & return to Source. It's an inner, energetic experience, and the best way I can describe it is like bubbles in a pot of almost-boiling water. There's a sense of total effortlessness and non-attachment as I feel them rise within me and evaporate, absolve. The lightness and clarity are very pleasant to experience.
So the answer (for this moment anyway), is that to whatever degree I am motivated by desires that would root me deeper in the wheel of karma - the material cycle of pleasures and pains, gain and loss, etc., this practice is purifying.
This practice has brought so many insights, I'll have to choose just one to write about today.
As I do this practice, I've been really questioning my motivation. It's definitely a concern, since for one of the mantras I'm doing, one translation lists its effect as "The inner light shining through you will make you so beautiful that people will be bewitched by you and will do anything you say..." LOL! :) That's not what I'm after! Needless to say, there are more subtle, esoteric meanings that I'm focusing on... (Read more on How Mantras Work) but since these mantras ARE quite powerful and I wish to use them wisely, I am definitely careful to ask myself:
How much of me wants the outcome, and is invested in the "material gain" vs. how much of me is absolutely in pure alignment with Divine Will, and completely surrendered? There are elements of both desires present - which in Evolutionary astrology would be called "separating desires" and "returning desires."
My experience with this apparent conundrum is quite remarkable. Since I've been dedicated to the spiritual path for many years, the momentum of my being is clearly in the "returning desires" category. As I do these mantras, I can literally see and feel my "separating desires" being lifted into the greater magnetism of my soul and its orientation toward full realization & return to Source. It's an inner, energetic experience, and the best way I can describe it is like bubbles in a pot of almost-boiling water. There's a sense of total effortlessness and non-attachment as I feel them rise within me and evaporate, absolve. The lightness and clarity are very pleasant to experience.
So the answer (for this moment anyway), is that to whatever degree I am motivated by desires that would root me deeper in the wheel of karma - the material cycle of pleasures and pains, gain and loss, etc., this practice is purifying.
Monday, May 25, 2009
An auspicious beginning + instant manifestation!!
Day 2
This morning I did the mantras walking through the dew-laden grass at a beautiful retreat center, then spent the day learning about Vedic Astrology and hanging out with great spiritual company.
My intuitive level of self-knowledge of my energetics, weak spots, and the most auspicious future timing of a relationship has been augmented and confirmed by the astrology. Interestingly, my Vedic astrology indicates a different layer than my Western evolutionary astrology, which could appear to be conflicting, but it's actually a lovely and perfect paradox.
I'm feeling lovely, powerful, wise, and surrendered... and so far am having one of those magical cosmic Kauai days. If the remaining 38 days are anything like this, in terms of each being a quantum leap from the day before, I should be feeling pretty groovy!
I'm going to focus on the insights, and not get too personal, but let's also just say that I'm getting some immediate manifestation in the potential mate sector. Mulabandha! ;) What a glorious tool the ancient yogis passed on for keeping our personal energies in check and directing them to fuel our higher wisdom (rather than flopping into indiscriminate mating instincts.)
To me, that's the essence of being in conscious relationship - knowing what I'm doing and why... The primary consciousness in relationship is with my own energy.
This morning I did the mantras walking through the dew-laden grass at a beautiful retreat center, then spent the day learning about Vedic Astrology and hanging out with great spiritual company.
My intuitive level of self-knowledge of my energetics, weak spots, and the most auspicious future timing of a relationship has been augmented and confirmed by the astrology. Interestingly, my Vedic astrology indicates a different layer than my Western evolutionary astrology, which could appear to be conflicting, but it's actually a lovely and perfect paradox.
I'm feeling lovely, powerful, wise, and surrendered... and so far am having one of those magical cosmic Kauai days. If the remaining 38 days are anything like this, in terms of each being a quantum leap from the day before, I should be feeling pretty groovy!
I'm going to focus on the insights, and not get too personal, but let's also just say that I'm getting some immediate manifestation in the potential mate sector. Mulabandha! ;) What a glorious tool the ancient yogis passed on for keeping our personal energies in check and directing them to fuel our higher wisdom (rather than flopping into indiscriminate mating instincts.)
To me, that's the essence of being in conscious relationship - knowing what I'm doing and why... The primary consciousness in relationship is with my own energy.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
The 40-Day Discipline for Conscious Relationship
For 40 days, I will do a personal mantra & yoga program - a series of mantras, yoga postures, and other actions, as an experiment in preparing myself for a new level of conscious relationship. The practice takes about 90 minutes each morning. I will post insights and experiences daily.
The mantras I’ve chosen are sacred formulae that:
1. Unify myself from within, to transcend obstacles to abundance of all kinds.
2. Attune me with the quality of Universal Friendship, reflection, and companionship on the path.
3. Attune me with the primeval feminine energy and activate this power within myself.
4. Attune me with wisdom and the power of speech to manifest and attract into the physical.
5. Activate the magnetism of my inner beauty
6. Invoke and attract the power of the sacred heart, from the place/time where I exist as a perfect soul, so that things that concern me come under my control to serve the highest good.
7. Declare the existence of a physical embodiment of the highest masculine principle, who is, by his very nature, magnetized by my feminine energy.
8. Offer salutations and praise to the primeval masculine principle.
9. Acknowledge the Divine within as the basis of all relationships.
10. Request to be led from untruth to Truth, from darkness to Light, from time-bound consciousness to Timelessness.
11. Offer the fruits of my practice for the benefit of all beings.
(Read more about Practical Applications of Sanskrit Mantra)
My yoga practice will include:
1. An inversion (probably Sirsasana, headstand) to balance my brain, change my perspective, and regulate my hormones.
2. A backbend (probably Urdhvadanurasana, upward-facing bow posture) to encourage spinal flexibility and allow the mantras to penetrate into my subconscious.
3. A hip opener (probably Hanumanasana, the splits) to keep myself present to my emotional vulnerability, and acknowledge the beauty of uninhibited service to the Divine.
My daily, moment-to-moment practice will also include:
1. Awareness of mulabandha (root lock) whenever a thought about men, romance, sex, love, etc. crosses my mind. My intention is to cultivate the tantric practice of containing my energy and allowing it to ascend my spine. I will not attempt to control or discard these thoughts or energies, but will acknowledge them as an opportunity for empowerment. I intend that the energies will give a little jolt to amplify my highest intentions, each time I experience them.
2. Openness to new experiences, invitations, social events, and synchronicities. I will say “Yes!” to things that feel good in my intuition. (Including online dating - since I live in a rural area I figure I need to expand the gene pool! LOL!)
Why 40 Days?
40 days (from Moses, Jesus, Buddha and many others) is the sacred time span in which you can affect a major shift in your experience.
The mantras I’ve chosen are sacred formulae that:
1. Unify myself from within, to transcend obstacles to abundance of all kinds.
2. Attune me with the quality of Universal Friendship, reflection, and companionship on the path.
3. Attune me with the primeval feminine energy and activate this power within myself.
4. Attune me with wisdom and the power of speech to manifest and attract into the physical.
5. Activate the magnetism of my inner beauty
6. Invoke and attract the power of the sacred heart, from the place/time where I exist as a perfect soul, so that things that concern me come under my control to serve the highest good.
7. Declare the existence of a physical embodiment of the highest masculine principle, who is, by his very nature, magnetized by my feminine energy.
8. Offer salutations and praise to the primeval masculine principle.
9. Acknowledge the Divine within as the basis of all relationships.
10. Request to be led from untruth to Truth, from darkness to Light, from time-bound consciousness to Timelessness.
11. Offer the fruits of my practice for the benefit of all beings.
(Read more about Practical Applications of Sanskrit Mantra)
My yoga practice will include:
1. An inversion (probably Sirsasana, headstand) to balance my brain, change my perspective, and regulate my hormones.
2. A backbend (probably Urdhvadanurasana, upward-facing bow posture) to encourage spinal flexibility and allow the mantras to penetrate into my subconscious.
3. A hip opener (probably Hanumanasana, the splits) to keep myself present to my emotional vulnerability, and acknowledge the beauty of uninhibited service to the Divine.
My daily, moment-to-moment practice will also include:
1. Awareness of mulabandha (root lock) whenever a thought about men, romance, sex, love, etc. crosses my mind. My intention is to cultivate the tantric practice of containing my energy and allowing it to ascend my spine. I will not attempt to control or discard these thoughts or energies, but will acknowledge them as an opportunity for empowerment. I intend that the energies will give a little jolt to amplify my highest intentions, each time I experience them.
2. Openness to new experiences, invitations, social events, and synchronicities. I will say “Yes!” to things that feel good in my intuition. (Including online dating - since I live in a rural area I figure I need to expand the gene pool! LOL!)
Why 40 Days?
40 days (from Moses, Jesus, Buddha and many others) is the sacred time span in which you can affect a major shift in your experience.
Exploring Conscious Relationships
I foresee this blog as an exploration of conscious relationship – attracting one, and the learning process throughout its lifespan. As a romantic idealist at heart, I love the Hollywood storyline of “happy ever after, marriage, family, growing old together.” However, I’m too poetic to fully buy into the superficiality of that outline sketch. I savor the moments of poignancy; when the depth of my vulnerability elicits the tenderness of my partner’s compassion, when my boundaries are stretched and my heart has to take on new dimensions of empathy for my partner’s struggles, when deeper honesty carves straight to the bone, to reveal the skeletal structure of our belief systems.
Because I know that love is what we learn here, I can sink my leonine teeth into the grinding, gritty, gristle of a difficult moment and extract the essential juice of it with grace. I’m salivating as I write this, my body responding to the beautiful visceral experience of learning what I’m here to learn. A sense of lightness fills my being as I sense my wheel of karma evolving, literally turning me up the spiral into a new plane of experience with even more refined, subtle variations on the themes I’ve been consciously exploring for all of my adult life.
Because I know that love is what we learn here, I can sink my leonine teeth into the grinding, gritty, gristle of a difficult moment and extract the essential juice of it with grace. I’m salivating as I write this, my body responding to the beautiful visceral experience of learning what I’m here to learn. A sense of lightness fills my being as I sense my wheel of karma evolving, literally turning me up the spiral into a new plane of experience with even more refined, subtle variations on the themes I’ve been consciously exploring for all of my adult life.
A 40-day Experiment in Conscious Relationship
This morning I started a 40-day program to bring myself closer to experiencing a divine partnership. I could say “to attract a spiritual husband,” or “to manifest a divine relationship,” or “to create a conscious partnership,” but those all sound too goal-oriented. I am excited about that possibility, but really, I’m in it for the ride, not just the destination.
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