Day 7
There is so much energy being accumulated in my being, it makes the practice joyful. Like many people, discipline for me is sometimes drudgery. However, in this case, the benefits of the practice are so far above & beyond my expectations, I found myself excited this morning to see what's next!
The momentum of the mantras are resonating in my being, creating what feels like a magnetic pull towards refinement... It is said that we are made in the image of Gods; attuning to these higher vibrations through the mantras literally vibrates that level of experience into this realm. Lest I lose you, dear reader, in this esoteric mysticism, an explanation of the unexplainable, I'll invite us both to retreat to silence... To explore for ourselves the meaning that is relevant to us. :)
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Deeper relationship with the Deities themselves
Day 6
Truthfully, when I started this practice I didn't realize how humbled I would become.
The depth of relationship that's possible is being revealed to me...
-Within my small self, in relation to the consciousness of my own prana in my body
-Within my great Self, in relation to my identity with the vastness of the planetary, solar, universal, and cosmic forces also known as Deities.
The thought that I started with, that I was preparing myself for a "divine relationship," has been completely transformed in a more beautiful way than I could ever imagine. You know when you suddenly really SEE an old friend, or someone you interact with every day, in a totally new light? That's how I'm feeling about certain Gods and Goddesses that are invoked in this practice. It's not they who have changed, it's me.
I am moved almost to tears as I realize just how much Grace pours out when we take one step forward on the path. The mantra are clearing pranic channels to levels of connection that come rushing in at a rate that far exceeds my effort.
Truthfully, when I started this practice I didn't realize how humbled I would become.
The depth of relationship that's possible is being revealed to me...
-Within my small self, in relation to the consciousness of my own prana in my body
-Within my great Self, in relation to my identity with the vastness of the planetary, solar, universal, and cosmic forces also known as Deities.
The thought that I started with, that I was preparing myself for a "divine relationship," has been completely transformed in a more beautiful way than I could ever imagine. You know when you suddenly really SEE an old friend, or someone you interact with every day, in a totally new light? That's how I'm feeling about certain Gods and Goddesses that are invoked in this practice. It's not they who have changed, it's me.
I am moved almost to tears as I realize just how much Grace pours out when we take one step forward on the path. The mantra are clearing pranic channels to levels of connection that come rushing in at a rate that far exceeds my effort.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Modern Yogini
Day 5
First and foremost, I am a yogini, or by some definitions, an aspiring yogini... dedicated to the union within. From that union, all emerges. The reflection of grace and feminine wisdom came today in the form of Shambhavi Yogini, a lovely woman I look forward to sharing more company with during the retreat I'm participating in this weekend. She has much to offer, and I, much to learn.
I've been reflecting on my authentic expression as a healer/teacher/writer. It's not authentic for me to dress in a sari, because I am not by birth an Indian in this life. The expression of the yogic life is a bit different for me as a young American woman, but nonetheless I seek its depths and love to share from my direct experience, to inspire, extend grace, and awaken wisdom. However, my style includes perhaps just a hint of goofiness! ;)
I must admit I relish my dharma in this life of straddling the worlds - to immerse myself in the seed sound of OM in the morning, and let my hair down and shake my booty to Ludacris in the evening, and retain a pure sense of Self through it all!
First and foremost, I am a yogini, or by some definitions, an aspiring yogini... dedicated to the union within. From that union, all emerges. The reflection of grace and feminine wisdom came today in the form of Shambhavi Yogini, a lovely woman I look forward to sharing more company with during the retreat I'm participating in this weekend. She has much to offer, and I, much to learn.
I've been reflecting on my authentic expression as a healer/teacher/writer. It's not authentic for me to dress in a sari, because I am not by birth an Indian in this life. The expression of the yogic life is a bit different for me as a young American woman, but nonetheless I seek its depths and love to share from my direct experience, to inspire, extend grace, and awaken wisdom. However, my style includes perhaps just a hint of goofiness! ;)
I must admit I relish my dharma in this life of straddling the worlds - to immerse myself in the seed sound of OM in the morning, and let my hair down and shake my booty to Ludacris in the evening, and retain a pure sense of Self through it all!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Cockroach Omens & Yoga Asana
Day 4
It was incredibly appropriate that I noticed a cockroach laying belly up on the floor 8 feet in front of me just after I started my sun salutations this morning. (Just in case you're thinking I'm a slob, everyone has cockroaches in Hawaii. It's just a fact of life.)
Normally, I'd get a tissue, pick it up, and throw it in the garbage, but today I decided to look at it as an omen. The yoga asana practice is such a perfect reflection of where the rubber meets the road between the soul and the ego personality. As they say, "The issues are in the tissues!" I had a bit of resistance to doing the asana this morning, so the cockroach was a perfect reminder of corpse pose, the final surrender, the death of the illusion of the individual ego.
This process of soul evolution is holistic - yoga asana without the meditation, mantras & pranayama can get to focused on the physical, and the esoteric practices without the physical asana can be ungrounded. To do it all synergistically keeps the evolution progressing on a steady, safe, integrated trajectory. It's gradual, but assured, since all of the potential energy leakages are sealed. (Imagine Indian accent here...) Thank you, my little cockroach friend, for your great teaching! :) LOL.
Read more on developing your own personal yoga & mantra programs
It was incredibly appropriate that I noticed a cockroach laying belly up on the floor 8 feet in front of me just after I started my sun salutations this morning. (Just in case you're thinking I'm a slob, everyone has cockroaches in Hawaii. It's just a fact of life.)
Normally, I'd get a tissue, pick it up, and throw it in the garbage, but today I decided to look at it as an omen. The yoga asana practice is such a perfect reflection of where the rubber meets the road between the soul and the ego personality. As they say, "The issues are in the tissues!" I had a bit of resistance to doing the asana this morning, so the cockroach was a perfect reminder of corpse pose, the final surrender, the death of the illusion of the individual ego.
This process of soul evolution is holistic - yoga asana without the meditation, mantras & pranayama can get to focused on the physical, and the esoteric practices without the physical asana can be ungrounded. To do it all synergistically keeps the evolution progressing on a steady, safe, integrated trajectory. It's gradual, but assured, since all of the potential energy leakages are sealed. (Imagine Indian accent here...) Thank you, my little cockroach friend, for your great teaching! :) LOL.
Read more on developing your own personal yoga & mantra programs
Using mantras for material gain vs. liberation
Day 3
This practice has brought so many insights, I'll have to choose just one to write about today.
As I do this practice, I've been really questioning my motivation. It's definitely a concern, since for one of the mantras I'm doing, one translation lists its effect as "The inner light shining through you will make you so beautiful that people will be bewitched by you and will do anything you say..." LOL! :) That's not what I'm after! Needless to say, there are more subtle, esoteric meanings that I'm focusing on... (Read more on How Mantras Work) but since these mantras ARE quite powerful and I wish to use them wisely, I am definitely careful to ask myself:
How much of me wants the outcome, and is invested in the "material gain" vs. how much of me is absolutely in pure alignment with Divine Will, and completely surrendered? There are elements of both desires present - which in Evolutionary astrology would be called "separating desires" and "returning desires."
My experience with this apparent conundrum is quite remarkable. Since I've been dedicated to the spiritual path for many years, the momentum of my being is clearly in the "returning desires" category. As I do these mantras, I can literally see and feel my "separating desires" being lifted into the greater magnetism of my soul and its orientation toward full realization & return to Source. It's an inner, energetic experience, and the best way I can describe it is like bubbles in a pot of almost-boiling water. There's a sense of total effortlessness and non-attachment as I feel them rise within me and evaporate, absolve. The lightness and clarity are very pleasant to experience.
So the answer (for this moment anyway), is that to whatever degree I am motivated by desires that would root me deeper in the wheel of karma - the material cycle of pleasures and pains, gain and loss, etc., this practice is purifying.
This practice has brought so many insights, I'll have to choose just one to write about today.
As I do this practice, I've been really questioning my motivation. It's definitely a concern, since for one of the mantras I'm doing, one translation lists its effect as "The inner light shining through you will make you so beautiful that people will be bewitched by you and will do anything you say..." LOL! :) That's not what I'm after! Needless to say, there are more subtle, esoteric meanings that I'm focusing on... (Read more on How Mantras Work) but since these mantras ARE quite powerful and I wish to use them wisely, I am definitely careful to ask myself:
How much of me wants the outcome, and is invested in the "material gain" vs. how much of me is absolutely in pure alignment with Divine Will, and completely surrendered? There are elements of both desires present - which in Evolutionary astrology would be called "separating desires" and "returning desires."
My experience with this apparent conundrum is quite remarkable. Since I've been dedicated to the spiritual path for many years, the momentum of my being is clearly in the "returning desires" category. As I do these mantras, I can literally see and feel my "separating desires" being lifted into the greater magnetism of my soul and its orientation toward full realization & return to Source. It's an inner, energetic experience, and the best way I can describe it is like bubbles in a pot of almost-boiling water. There's a sense of total effortlessness and non-attachment as I feel them rise within me and evaporate, absolve. The lightness and clarity are very pleasant to experience.
So the answer (for this moment anyway), is that to whatever degree I am motivated by desires that would root me deeper in the wheel of karma - the material cycle of pleasures and pains, gain and loss, etc., this practice is purifying.
Monday, May 25, 2009
An auspicious beginning + instant manifestation!!
Day 2
This morning I did the mantras walking through the dew-laden grass at a beautiful retreat center, then spent the day learning about Vedic Astrology and hanging out with great spiritual company.
My intuitive level of self-knowledge of my energetics, weak spots, and the most auspicious future timing of a relationship has been augmented and confirmed by the astrology. Interestingly, my Vedic astrology indicates a different layer than my Western evolutionary astrology, which could appear to be conflicting, but it's actually a lovely and perfect paradox.
I'm feeling lovely, powerful, wise, and surrendered... and so far am having one of those magical cosmic Kauai days. If the remaining 38 days are anything like this, in terms of each being a quantum leap from the day before, I should be feeling pretty groovy!
I'm going to focus on the insights, and not get too personal, but let's also just say that I'm getting some immediate manifestation in the potential mate sector. Mulabandha! ;) What a glorious tool the ancient yogis passed on for keeping our personal energies in check and directing them to fuel our higher wisdom (rather than flopping into indiscriminate mating instincts.)
To me, that's the essence of being in conscious relationship - knowing what I'm doing and why... The primary consciousness in relationship is with my own energy.
This morning I did the mantras walking through the dew-laden grass at a beautiful retreat center, then spent the day learning about Vedic Astrology and hanging out with great spiritual company.
My intuitive level of self-knowledge of my energetics, weak spots, and the most auspicious future timing of a relationship has been augmented and confirmed by the astrology. Interestingly, my Vedic astrology indicates a different layer than my Western evolutionary astrology, which could appear to be conflicting, but it's actually a lovely and perfect paradox.
I'm feeling lovely, powerful, wise, and surrendered... and so far am having one of those magical cosmic Kauai days. If the remaining 38 days are anything like this, in terms of each being a quantum leap from the day before, I should be feeling pretty groovy!
I'm going to focus on the insights, and not get too personal, but let's also just say that I'm getting some immediate manifestation in the potential mate sector. Mulabandha! ;) What a glorious tool the ancient yogis passed on for keeping our personal energies in check and directing them to fuel our higher wisdom (rather than flopping into indiscriminate mating instincts.)
To me, that's the essence of being in conscious relationship - knowing what I'm doing and why... The primary consciousness in relationship is with my own energy.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
The 40-Day Discipline for Conscious Relationship
For 40 days, I will do a personal mantra & yoga program - a series of mantras, yoga postures, and other actions, as an experiment in preparing myself for a new level of conscious relationship. The practice takes about 90 minutes each morning. I will post insights and experiences daily.
The mantras I’ve chosen are sacred formulae that:
1. Unify myself from within, to transcend obstacles to abundance of all kinds.
2. Attune me with the quality of Universal Friendship, reflection, and companionship on the path.
3. Attune me with the primeval feminine energy and activate this power within myself.
4. Attune me with wisdom and the power of speech to manifest and attract into the physical.
5. Activate the magnetism of my inner beauty
6. Invoke and attract the power of the sacred heart, from the place/time where I exist as a perfect soul, so that things that concern me come under my control to serve the highest good.
7. Declare the existence of a physical embodiment of the highest masculine principle, who is, by his very nature, magnetized by my feminine energy.
8. Offer salutations and praise to the primeval masculine principle.
9. Acknowledge the Divine within as the basis of all relationships.
10. Request to be led from untruth to Truth, from darkness to Light, from time-bound consciousness to Timelessness.
11. Offer the fruits of my practice for the benefit of all beings.
(Read more about Practical Applications of Sanskrit Mantra)
My yoga practice will include:
1. An inversion (probably Sirsasana, headstand) to balance my brain, change my perspective, and regulate my hormones.
2. A backbend (probably Urdhvadanurasana, upward-facing bow posture) to encourage spinal flexibility and allow the mantras to penetrate into my subconscious.
3. A hip opener (probably Hanumanasana, the splits) to keep myself present to my emotional vulnerability, and acknowledge the beauty of uninhibited service to the Divine.
My daily, moment-to-moment practice will also include:
1. Awareness of mulabandha (root lock) whenever a thought about men, romance, sex, love, etc. crosses my mind. My intention is to cultivate the tantric practice of containing my energy and allowing it to ascend my spine. I will not attempt to control or discard these thoughts or energies, but will acknowledge them as an opportunity for empowerment. I intend that the energies will give a little jolt to amplify my highest intentions, each time I experience them.
2. Openness to new experiences, invitations, social events, and synchronicities. I will say “Yes!” to things that feel good in my intuition. (Including online dating - since I live in a rural area I figure I need to expand the gene pool! LOL!)
Why 40 Days?
40 days (from Moses, Jesus, Buddha and many others) is the sacred time span in which you can affect a major shift in your experience.
The mantras I’ve chosen are sacred formulae that:
1. Unify myself from within, to transcend obstacles to abundance of all kinds.
2. Attune me with the quality of Universal Friendship, reflection, and companionship on the path.
3. Attune me with the primeval feminine energy and activate this power within myself.
4. Attune me with wisdom and the power of speech to manifest and attract into the physical.
5. Activate the magnetism of my inner beauty
6. Invoke and attract the power of the sacred heart, from the place/time where I exist as a perfect soul, so that things that concern me come under my control to serve the highest good.
7. Declare the existence of a physical embodiment of the highest masculine principle, who is, by his very nature, magnetized by my feminine energy.
8. Offer salutations and praise to the primeval masculine principle.
9. Acknowledge the Divine within as the basis of all relationships.
10. Request to be led from untruth to Truth, from darkness to Light, from time-bound consciousness to Timelessness.
11. Offer the fruits of my practice for the benefit of all beings.
(Read more about Practical Applications of Sanskrit Mantra)
My yoga practice will include:
1. An inversion (probably Sirsasana, headstand) to balance my brain, change my perspective, and regulate my hormones.
2. A backbend (probably Urdhvadanurasana, upward-facing bow posture) to encourage spinal flexibility and allow the mantras to penetrate into my subconscious.
3. A hip opener (probably Hanumanasana, the splits) to keep myself present to my emotional vulnerability, and acknowledge the beauty of uninhibited service to the Divine.
My daily, moment-to-moment practice will also include:
1. Awareness of mulabandha (root lock) whenever a thought about men, romance, sex, love, etc. crosses my mind. My intention is to cultivate the tantric practice of containing my energy and allowing it to ascend my spine. I will not attempt to control or discard these thoughts or energies, but will acknowledge them as an opportunity for empowerment. I intend that the energies will give a little jolt to amplify my highest intentions, each time I experience them.
2. Openness to new experiences, invitations, social events, and synchronicities. I will say “Yes!” to things that feel good in my intuition. (Including online dating - since I live in a rural area I figure I need to expand the gene pool! LOL!)
Why 40 Days?
40 days (from Moses, Jesus, Buddha and many others) is the sacred time span in which you can affect a major shift in your experience.
Exploring Conscious Relationships
I foresee this blog as an exploration of conscious relationship – attracting one, and the learning process throughout its lifespan. As a romantic idealist at heart, I love the Hollywood storyline of “happy ever after, marriage, family, growing old together.” However, I’m too poetic to fully buy into the superficiality of that outline sketch. I savor the moments of poignancy; when the depth of my vulnerability elicits the tenderness of my partner’s compassion, when my boundaries are stretched and my heart has to take on new dimensions of empathy for my partner’s struggles, when deeper honesty carves straight to the bone, to reveal the skeletal structure of our belief systems.
Because I know that love is what we learn here, I can sink my leonine teeth into the grinding, gritty, gristle of a difficult moment and extract the essential juice of it with grace. I’m salivating as I write this, my body responding to the beautiful visceral experience of learning what I’m here to learn. A sense of lightness fills my being as I sense my wheel of karma evolving, literally turning me up the spiral into a new plane of experience with even more refined, subtle variations on the themes I’ve been consciously exploring for all of my adult life.
Because I know that love is what we learn here, I can sink my leonine teeth into the grinding, gritty, gristle of a difficult moment and extract the essential juice of it with grace. I’m salivating as I write this, my body responding to the beautiful visceral experience of learning what I’m here to learn. A sense of lightness fills my being as I sense my wheel of karma evolving, literally turning me up the spiral into a new plane of experience with even more refined, subtle variations on the themes I’ve been consciously exploring for all of my adult life.
A 40-day Experiment in Conscious Relationship
This morning I started a 40-day program to bring myself closer to experiencing a divine partnership. I could say “to attract a spiritual husband,” or “to manifest a divine relationship,” or “to create a conscious partnership,” but those all sound too goal-oriented. I am excited about that possibility, but really, I’m in it for the ride, not just the destination.
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